Why isn't there a punishment for those who give up on their dreams?

Photo: ysaintdior/ Pinterest

Dear Barboncino,

I don't know if you'll ever read this letter, but I have to write it. Not to get an answer, but to let out all this pain that's been holding me hostage since you left.

Not just leave… but close every door on me. Leave me without a word. Without explanation. Without the chance to tell you how I felt. And that… tore me apart.

You told me in a very beautiful moment between us:

"I will fill my belly full of babies."

I'll never forget it. You let me dream of a future. You made me believe that you were the partner of my life. And for a little while… I felt truly happy. I felt loved. I felt chosen.

But now I'm alone. Left in the middle of memories, with eyes filled with tears and an empty soul.

Every day I wake up with longing. Every night I sleep with your absence. And during the day… I try to find a sign of you in every corner, in every car that passes, in every small detail that we once shared together.

I didn't love you for a moment. I wasn't there for a game. I would never let go of your hand.
I would be there even on the worst days. I would love you even when you didn't love yourself.

Because that's how I love - with all my heart, with all my soul.

Now it feels like I'll never be able to connect with anyone else.

Like no one will ever touch me the same way again.

It's as if my heart has stopped where the word remained suspended between us.

And I... was left alone with tears.

The truth is that…

I would like to go back.

I can't hide it. I love that version of you that made me feel special. I love the two of us, before everything fell apart.

I don't know if you think of me, or if you feel anything about all this we left behind... but I haven't closed the door of my soul to you.

If this is truly the end, just know this: You had a girl by your side who loved you like no other.

And if you never come back... she will keep you as a sacred memory. With all the pain, with all the absence, but also with all the love that cannot go away.

Goodbye, if there is no return. But if one day your heart remembers… I am here. The same. Honest. True.

Your barboncina. </3

- Written for Anabel by an anonymous woman, for the  “Untold Stories”  column – the haven where we recount those moments when the heart wants to speak, whether about the good or the difficult, about the deepest feelings that we don't want to keep inside. If you too would like to share your story, write to us at  [email protected] .