Fear of commitment is one of the most common, yet most destructive, problems that someone can bring into a relationship. Every serious relationship problem, from refusing to commit to one person to refusing to marry someone you've been dating for years, comes down to a fear of creating a lasting relationship. And that's something to avoid (or you'll end up with a broken heart). Because the truth is:
Men who are afraid of serious relationships will rarely change their minds, so stop trying in vain.
According to stereotypes, men are the ones who are "reluctant" to get married, as they don't want to end their single adventures, either because they prefer to date many women at the same time, or because they simply don't want to be burdened by the responsibilities of a relationship.
Sometimes this reputation is unfair, as it is not gender that determines how serious someone is in a relationship. But in some cases, this reputation is deserved. Therefore, you should know that there is nothing more wrong than thinking that you can force a man to create a serious relationship, when in many ways he has let you know that this is not his plan.
What does this mean for women?
It means that a man with such problems is like a giant red flag waving in front of you, and it is your responsibility to notice this warning sign.
Why? Because it's your heart that's at risk of breaking. Unfortunately, many women understand this and when a man tells them he's not ready for something serious, they start dreaming of a happy ending again and consequently don't end the relationship.
“He may not be ready for something serious with others,” they think, “but he will be ready for something serious with me.”
But even though they notice the red flags, they often ignore them, even when the signals become clear and undeniable. It's one of the oldest stories in the world: girl meets boy, boy refuses to take responsibility, girl tries to change him.
Why do such relationships often end badly?
Dating a man who is afraid of serious relationships rarely has a happy ending. Women often confuse “love” with “partnership,” even though they are not the same thing (despite some similarities).
Love is more about intimacy, passion, desire, and romantic connection. It doesn't include the rest that makes up a true relationship.
Love can bring a lot of emotions “in bed,” but that’s often its limit. Partnership is when two people become part of each other’s lives in an ongoing way.
In a partnership, you support each other emotionally, physically, and perhaps even financially. And most importantly, you are both willing to take gradual steps toward marriage.
This is where many women make a mistake, they try to turn a love affair into a partnership, but in the process “the ship sinks”. Love is a beautiful thing, but only when you accept it for what it is, not for what you hope it will become. Confusing love with partnership is like confusing a vacation with real life.
You can get on a plane and go to a beach. You can enjoy the sun and drink alcohol all day, but again, it's not your home.
If you're in a loving relationship and it makes you happy, great, there's nothing wrong with the way you're living. But if you're looking for something to build and grow together, you need to be in a partnership.
Not just you, but also the person you're dating. If he/she doesn't imagine the same future, it's time to move on to someone who does.
