Letter to the boy I believed you were

Photo: amir313u/ Pinterest

"I know this message will probably never be read, but I still want to leave it here... more for myself than for you."

A year ago, in those two months we met, I saw something in you that made me believe that it was worth waiting for. And maybe, even though we broke up, I was still waiting, not for messages, but for real efforts. The one thing I've always wanted from someone was to feel like a priority, not an afterthought. That's why I was touched by the way that, when you were only going to be here for two days, our meeting was left for the last few hours, just before you left again. You made me realize that I wasn't an important place on your agenda. 

However, even though I pulled away, I didn't continue with anyone, because I believed in the way you talked about the future, about being together, even if you said it jokingly. I believed it because it came naturally to me to be honest with you. I was never interested in what you had, how much you earned, how you lived, I was at peace with the idea of ??the person I thought you were. When you wrote to me on August 15, I thought maybe that was a sign. But when you acted as if 10 months of silence hadn't existed, I realized that I had taken something seriously that you had left in suspense. However, again… I thought that if you really cared, you would show it with actions.

And then, in less than two months, I find out you're engaged and married to someone else.

I don't hate you. It just hurts me how quickly someone else became what I expected to be for you, how I felt so worthless in this whole thing. Like someone who waited for something that never mattered to you. And yes, I know you've probably known someone else for a long time, even when you decided to look for me again.

"I'm not looking for answers. I'm not looking for anything. I just want to leave this piece of my truth here, in case it ever comes across."

- Written for Anabel by an anonymous woman, for the  “Untold Stories” column  – the haven where we recount those moments when the heart wants to speak, whether about the good or the difficult, about the deepest feelings that we don't want to keep inside. If you too would like to share your story, write to us at  [email protected] .