What is "Monkey Barning": The Toxic New Dating Trend That's Breaking Hearts

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In the increasingly complex world of modern dating, a new trend is gaining attention, but not for good reason. Dubbed "Monkey Barning," the phenomenon describes a toxic behavior that is negatively impacting romantic relationships, leaving many people hurt, undervalued, and with broken hearts and trust.

The name comes from the behavior of monkeys, who do not let go of a branch without first grabbing onto another. The same thing, according to this term, is happening in human relationships: a person who is in a relationship does not end it, as long as they have not secured another relationship or potential partner. So, the new partner becomes the “guarantee” that they will not be left alone. Essentially, it is a way to move from one relationship to another without any regrets, and often, unfairly.

This behavior is not only selfish, but deeply manipulative. The partner who “moves” in this way keeps the other person emotionally attached, staying in a relationship that has in reality abandoned them mentally and emotionally. In the meantime, he or she builds communication and relationships with someone else, often through social media or dating apps. Just when the new relationship seems secure, the current partner is suddenly abandoned, without warning.

The emotional consequences are huge.

The partner who leaves suddenly feels replaced, unappreciated, and betrayed. Many people experience intense feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, or even difficulty believing in future relationships. Meanwhile, the person who practices “monkey barning” often acts out of a deep fear of loneliness or a lack of ability to cope with the pain of separation.

How to recognize this behavior?

Signs include a sudden emotional distancing, increased interest in “new friends” or new contacts, suspicious behavior on the phone or social media, and a continued reluctance to talk openly about the future of the relationship. If you feel like your partner is already “on the outside” but still isn’t leaving, this could be a clear sign.

"Monkey barning" is not just a way to avoid loneliness, it is a form of emotional betrayal that leaves many scars. Therefore, you should not apply it, especially if you believe in karma. ;)