I don't know how to start a letter to someone who is no longer in this world with me, but who for me remains always alive. There are days when I feel lost in a great void and the only thing I know how to do is write. Writing is my way of bringing you back, of keeping you close, of not letting our love be lost in silence.
I miss you in every little thing. In the mornings when I woke up next to you, in your voice that I recognized among thousands of voices, in your eyes that were mirrors where I saw my best self. I miss the way you calmed me down with a look, how you made me laugh even on the hardest days. Every memory is a piece of light, but also a wound that never heals.
I often wonder why. Why did we break up so soon? Why didn't fate give us more time? There are moments when I feel angry at life, but then I remember that our love was the greatest gift I could ever have received. Even if it was short, it taught me what it means to love unconditionally, to give without measure, to feel deeply.
I still cherish the memories as sacred treasures. The photos, the words, the smells, the places we went together… They all speak softly, as if you were still there, hugging me from behind. Sometimes, at night, I feel your presence. It's like a light breath that passes over my skin, like a living memory that doesn't let me forget that once, I was happy.
Our love did not die. It lives inside me. It has no body, no voice, but it is the most vivid feeling I have. It is incredible how you can feel someone even when you cannot touch them, how you can live with an absence that is as present as the breath itself. I feel that you are there, somewhere, beyond my eyes, beyond what can be touched.
I know you would like to see me living, not wallowing in pain. And I try. Every day, I try to smile, to do things that keep me alive, to pursue the dreams we once shared. But always, in every joy, in every victory, your absence becomes deeper. As if everything beautiful is half without you.
In my heart, I continue to speak to you. I tell you about my days, about the things that make me happy or sadden me. I know you no longer answer me with words, but sometimes I feel like I hear your voice telling me to be strong, not to give up. I feel that, somewhere, your soul is watching over me.
I wish I could have you again, just for a few moments. To tell you everything I probably didn't tell you while you were here with me: how much I loved you, how lucky I felt to have you in my life, how special you were. People often take beautiful things for granted, but I now know that every second with you was a miracle.
You are and will remain my eternal love. Maybe my life will move forward, maybe there will be other people around me, but no one will take your place. No one will be able to give me what you gave me, that feeling of completeness, of peace, of absolute belonging.
If there is another world beyond this, I know that one day we will meet again. And then, there will be no more separation, no more pain, just us, together. Until then, I will hold you in every breath, in every heartbeat, in every step I take.
This letter is long, but it still seems small compared to what I feel. My love for you is beyond words. It is an ocean without end, a sky without limits.
I miss you endlessly, but I love you even more, even though there is so much absence. And this is the beautiful and painful paradox of our love: even though you are no longer in this life, you are everything to me.
Forever yours.
- Written for Anabel by an anonymous woman, for the “Untold Stories” column – the haven where we recount those moments when the heart wants to speak, whether about the good or the difficult, about the deepest feelings that we don't want to keep inside. If you too would like to share your story, write to us at [email protected].
