Betrayals have been born with humanity and have existed since its inception. The reasons are of the most diverse, but still today we find ourselves unwilling to answer the dilemmas "why do people betray?" or "Why do they betray even those who love their partner and are happy with life in a couple?"
Esther Perel, a psychotherapist specialising in issues such as couple treason, tries to answer this dilemma by starting from the phenomenon of monogamy.
According to her, monogamy once meant 1 man for the rest of his life. Today, 1 man in a certain period of time. If people were once separated because they were unhappy, today they divorce because they can be happier than that. In the past, there has been no connection between monogamy and love. Marriage was simply a business transaction, and today a romantic agreement. And betrayal, a phenomenon that constantly threatens our emotional security. People turn to betrayal because they see it as a space to find true love, but why do some partners choose to betray even when they are happy with life in a couple?
- The notion that treason only occurs in problematic relationships is wrong. Most of us probably think, "If you have everything inside the house, there's no reason to ask for more out of it." On the other hand, we face another fact: People who are 100% in love admit that yes, they have betrayed.
When we withdraw from someone else who is not our partner, it happens not because we want to leave the man we have in our arms, but we want to escape from the man we ourselves have become. It's like an attempt to reconnect with lost bits of yourself.
The truth is that most couples who have successfully faced a betrayal in connection are together and stronger than before. It is the couple themselves who decide what consequences the betrayal of one of them will have. Of course injury is inevitable on the one hand, but on the other hand, so is personal growth or self-discovery. Accept it or not, according to psychologists, any betrayal redefines the fate and longevity of a relationship.
Burimi: Bright Side
