We've often written about relationships, breakups, true stories that didn't find a solution, but also about getting back together with people who, for various reasons, had left our lives. We've talked about the questions you should ask yourself before getting back into a relationship with your ex, and we've even analyzed what dreams with an ex-lover can mean.
We've also told you about the signs that an ex might be coming back to you, but also why there have been so many comebacks in recent years (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are a clear example). From all of this, you've probably already realized (if you didn't know before) that getting back into a relationship that's ended isn't always the best idea.
However, in this article you will read some reasons why you can say "yes" to a relapse, if it is something you are seriously considering. Psychotherapist, Annie Armstrong Miyao, emphasizes that people can mature and change (if they really want to), and brings five signs that indicate that a relapse can work.
1. You broke up because of the wrong time.
Maybe you broke up because you lived in different cities and didn't know when you could really be together. Or simply because you were at different stages of life. Now, maybe the conditions have changed and are suitable for a comeback.
"If the logical and emotional circumstances that led to the breakup have changed, it may be the right time to get back together."
2. Trust can be rebuilt
If there has been a breach of trust in your relationship, before you start over with the same person, ask yourself if you can truly trust them.
If the apology is sincere and you both feel ready to put the past behind you, then you can move forward on a foundation of honesty and integrity.
"Make sure both partners take on the responsibility and burden that comes with a relationship. And remember: part of trust is the willingness to get hurt."
3. Feel more mature and ready for the challenges of a relationship
Every relationship has its challenges and weaknesses, even when you get to know the other person well. Has the way you handle situations changed? Do you still feel influenced by external factors? What happens when you are under emotional pressure?
"If you didn't like the way you handled stressful situations before, discuss now how you will manage them in the future so you don't repeat the same destructive patterns."
4. Accept the other person for who they are.
As you consider whether or not to get back together, ask yourself if you are truly ready to commit to the same person.
The question you need to ask yourself is, “Can I handle the challenges that come with this relationship?”
"I believe very much in the human ability to change and mature. But can you love someone for who they are now? Can you accept and understand his/her flaws with patience?"
5. You have the same values ??in life
During the time you were apart, you probably reflected. You worked on yourself, either on your own or with the help of a professional, and something changed. So did your partner. Now, you seem to be looking in the same direction when it comes to life.
For example, in the past you may have had different opinions about raising children or starting a family; today, those attitudes align.
"It's very important that before you get back together, you have serious discussions about topics like starting a family, religion, or financial arrangements. If you're on the same page, you have nothing to lose by trying again."
