My only love,
I know this letter was unexpected for you, as everything that happened in our lives has been. Mysterious, dangerous, without direction. I don't even know if I'm making a mistake writing to you after so long, maybe it's not the right thing to do. The best thing would be for us to forget each other, to never remember each other again.
But can the heart forget for whom it beat faster? I couldn't. And, knowing that I never will, I decided to write to you.
Without any hope for change. Because I know the end. Just like you. But we both deserved a little more. And since the flow of life refused to meet us at the same coordinates, let's steal from life a few moments that are not ours. Because we have nothing more to lose.
I can't tell you how much I miss you. Because you brought together many parts of my soul, that were scattered and forgotten. But you left, and I went back to how I used to be. I went back to the old me, that I hated so much. Only with you could I be me. I could love myself. And no one had ever made me feel that way before.
I'm afraid that I miss not only you. I miss myself when I was with you. Because after you, I lost everything I had taken from life. I lost it so quickly. We should have started somewhere.
We should have left our traces, in this life that quickly erases memories.
It's the first time in so long that I've written to you, but not the first time that I've written about you. And I only know how to write about you. I had promised you that I would write beautiful things about the two of us someday. It wasn't meant to be! In our happiest moments, I was intoxicated by your presence and thought I had plenty of time to write. How wrong I was!
Now, I have to live with you only in longing in memories. I know that you also remember me. It may seem selfish, but in fact it is proof that true loves do not die. Some of them are doomed not to be experienced for long, as ours was.
I have accepted that there will be no more continuity for us. And I don't know why I am writing to you.
But everything seems so unfair to me. I want so much for you to tell me that you have continued your life and are happy. Because I have realized that all this time I have suffered more for your pain than for myself.
To know that you are happy, that you have forgotten me, or that my name no longer brings back memories when you hear it; I know that it will be painful for me, but I will be happy for you. It will hurt me how you could forget me, but in the end I will smile that you have managed to build a beautiful life for yourself. Here at least I would feel a little justice for our love. Maybe, this is how I will learn to build another life.
The thought that I could be happy and you could suffer for our love tortures me every moment, so I couldn't even think about anyone else but you. So, please, either forget me, or let's get back together once and for all without thinking about anyone else but us, because I'm drowning in silence. And I'm so scared.
I'm so afraid that I'll ever meet you by chance, when you and I have moved on with our lives. When it's so late for both of us. I continue to love you as before. We got lost in the tracks of our love that now only hurts.
I deserve to say it again, and you deserve to hear it as if for the first time:
"If our love could save us, you and I would live forever."
- Written for Anabel by an anonymous girl, for the “Untold Stories” column – the haven where we recount those moments when the heart wants to speak, whether about the good or the difficult, about the deepest feelings that we don't want to keep inside. If you too would like to share your story, write to us at [email protected] .
