To love and be loved is not only a sublime feeling, which may sound cliché, but it also includes a number of principles, beliefs, and rules (written and unwritten) that are automatically confirmed when this feeling is mutual.
To find true love and experience this sublime feeling has been and is a challenge for each of us, because we have all been confused along the way and have asked ourselves: is this love?
As a girl who has asked herself this question many times, I learned the hard way the answer I gave myself.
When you're an 18-year-old girl who's going to rebel against people and the world because they haven't been fair to you, love is too good to be true, but you still keep searching for it as the only thing that can make you feel alive.
But when you're young and unscrupulous, you can easily confuse love with other feelings that aren't as sublime as it.
And so, you find yourself falling for the guy you swore to your friend you wouldn't get emotionally involved with, but now it's too late for that.
Your eyes are filled with love, while his are filled with lust.
You sink into his neck, too weak in front of the man who has stolen your heart, praying that the moment will not end, while he, like a hunter, bruises your chest, knowing that after that moment you have automatically become his prey, and not the girl he loves.
He'll ignore you for months, but he'll give you a call every time he's in town, and you'll run after him like crazy because you think this time it'll be different. It never is.
It's no different after 3 months, when in a bar in Tirana, while you're drinking a dirty martini with your best friend, he asks to meet you because it's been a while... and you're not enemies, right?
And why 3 months ago he didn't want a solid relationship with you, and you, for the best, although heartbroken, decided to end the relationship with him.
But a meeting after so long is not wrong, even though during those months you blamed yourself for leaving him so soon, thinking you weren't worthy of him, even though the problem was never you.
This meeting was supposed to be pure, grateful for the moments, and appreciative.
But when has a hunter ever been empathetic to his prey?
As you try to explain to him again why it ended, he tries to kiss you shamelessly.
He looks at you sharply with the same eyes, eyes that you already know very well.
Eyes of lust.
This story has two versions, for each of us:
The version of the unscrupulous 18-year-old, who is desperate to experience love, and the more mature version of each of us, when we finally manage to differentiate between these two feelings that are as similar as they are different from each other:
lust and love.
- Written for Anabel by an anonymous girl, for the column "Untold Stories" - the shelter where we narrate those moments when the heart wants to speak, whether about the good or the difficult, about the deepest feelings that we do not want to keep inside. If you also want to share your story, write to us at [email protected] .
