Every time you see her, you come home in an inexplicable bad mood. Even when you're together, you often find yourself getting angry over seemingly small, insignificant things. But maybe they're not so small after all. Maybe you're dealing with a toxic friend who's starting to take a toll on your mental well-being and who you need to cut out of your life.
These are some of the phrases she might say, which at first glance seem like innocent comments or "advice," but actually carry negative and derogatory energy. According to psychiatrist Judith Orloff, such phrases include:
"Blonde/brunette hair is not attractive at all"
"Forget that he's hanging you, he's on another level"
"Don't be stupid, you can't do this job"
Behind these comments is often a passive-aggressive behavior, through which she tries to control, belittle, or display her dark way of thinking.
Constant exposure to a toxic relationship, according to the expert, can directly affect our mental health, even leading to mild or profound forms of depression. Maybe it's not always her fault, maybe this is the only way she has learned to be in touch with others. But that doesn't make her behavior any less harmful.
None of us have to tolerate an "emotional vampire," as Orloff calls toxic people.
The best thing we can do for ourselves? To have the courage to set clear boundaries, even if that means cutting out those who hurt us.
