It happens every time. I know it will happen and I have no envy. Just a moment. It happens so often and now that I'm in my 40's I get used to it, but I still think every time a friend tells me she's pregnant: "Oh, here's another company!"
I am a woman who chose not to have children. I have a wonderful career, a great husband and we lead a very good life. I am satisfied with my life. But it has become inevitable that every time one of my friends brings a baby to life, our friendship changes. Believe me, I understand very well that her life has changed. I spend a lot of time with their children and enjoy watching them grow up. What about me? What about our society?
I am your caring and dedicated friend. I remember your favorite foods, gymnasium memories, the book that changed your life. To ask about your father's health as you have done with me. I don't expect to be your priority all the time; but it would be a liberating feeling to know that at least for a while I am the priority.
A few years ago, one of my friends told me she was about to move in with me, and I cried out in joy, ?How good! Now we have the opportunity to go out to nights more often. ?
Without even considering it an option, he replied, "Here's my mom now!"
Her tone made me feel guilty. How could I suggest something like this to someone who has such a great responsibility?
Someone, whom I considered a close friend, would only respond to my invitations if they were made with the exact plan and date. It breaks me to know that I am now in second place, so happy to know that my friend is happy with the baby she so loved.
Sometimes I wonder if my friends would want to rebuild the friendship we had when their children left. I do not understand why, at least once a year, they cannot find someone to leave their children with and drink a calm glass ...
What I don't think, because I'm clear, is that what I'm writing right now, I can't say to them. As a childless woman, I have nothing but to "understand" that relationships change and change is painful for me.
* Note: This letter was sent by an anonymous woman to The Guardian.
