If you've ever experienced someone suddenly disappearing and then coming back as if nothing happened, then you may have encountered the latest toxic dating phenomenon: "ghostlighting." The term is a combination of "ghosting" and "gaslighting," meaning someone leaves without a trace, and when they return, you feel like you're crazy for wondering where they went all that time.
A person who is " ghostlighting " may deny the time they've spent without contact, argue that you're sensitive, or respond with passive-aggressive statements like, "I didn't know there was a daily text quota" or "I didn't realize you needed so much attention." Their goal? To make you doubt yourself, your feelings, and the reality of the situation, that's the "gaslighting" part.
Psychologist Sarah Gundle describes ghostlighting as an "orange flag," something that may seem small but is actually destabilizing. She explains that its effect is to make the "victim" doubt their own perceptions and be afraid to seek consistent communication from their partner.
Women are often more susceptible to this manipulation, due to the fear of being called "clingy" just because they want a minimum of constant communication.
So, if an ex-partner who has disappeared out of nowhere tries to get back together, he should have a real explanation for his disappearance; otherwise, block and delete the contact immediately. Ghostlighting may seem like a minor problem at first, but its goal is to make you accept less than you deserve and it doesn't stop there.
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