People who make themselves less attractive usually don't even realize they're doing these 7 things

Photo: Monica Bellucci, "Malena"

Attraction isn't just about looks. It's the energy you give off, the way you carry yourself, the routine you have. Many things that diminish our beauty are completely controllable, but in most cases, we're not even aware we're doing them.

With a few small, thoughtful changes, you can naturally unleash your charm and create deeper connections with the people around you. The first step? Understanding the patterns that sabotage you.

Here are 7 things people do without realizing it that make them significantly less attractive:

1. They don't get enough sleep.

This seems simple, because we all love sleep, but we also love staying up late. So why does sleep affect attractiveness? A 2010 study found that sleep-deprived people are rated as less attractive, less healthy, and sadder.

So, if you don't want to look like a zombie to that person you like at the office... go to bed early.

2. They are harsher than necessary

A Chinese study had people look at photos with neutral expressions. Some photos were accompanied by positive descriptions, some by negative ones. Can you guess the result? 

So, leave the harshness aside. It radiates much more when you are kind.

3. They stand hunched over or with their arms crossed

Body language speaks first. “Retracted” positions, hunched back, hunched shoulders, crossed arms, immediately reduce attraction. In experiments published in 2016, open (“expansive”) positions were chosen much more often by users of dating sites.

Listen to mom: stand up straight. It helps more than you think.

4. They seem like they are always under stress.

A 2013 study showed that high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) make you appear less attractive.

Why? Because a body that does not radiate calmness does not radiate health or balance.

5. They have no sense of humor.

A lack of humor is truly unattractive. Studies show that people who laugh, who get a joke, who know how to lighten the atmosphere, are rated significantly more likable, regardless of gender.

You don't have to be a comedian. You just have to not be a concrete wall.

6. They seem lazy or uninterested

In a series of experiments, people who showed helpfulness, even just a little, were immediately rated more attractive. While those who seemed lazy or uninterested… simply weren't.

So, help or ask for help when you can. Points automatically earned.

7. They lie as if nothing happened

According to a 2006 study, of all the traits—intelligence, independence, personality—it was sincerity that had the greatest impact on perceptions of attraction.

Moral: lying isn't just bad. It makes you ugly.