How to react if your partner doesn't want to use a condom

Photo: Womany

Everyone knows that condoms prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. But what many people (girls especially) may not know is how to talk to their partner about protection, especially if he is against using condoms. Here are some answers you can use if your partner doesn't want to use a condom.

They sound ridiculous, we know, but you can't say you haven't been in at least one of these situations:

He says: “It doesn’t work for me.”

You tell him: "A condom can get us both inside together, so don't worry, it will."

It's true! Condoms are flexible and can fit penises of all sizes. :)

He says: “Sex is better without a condom.”

You tell him: “He may feel better now, but it will be too late if he gets a sexually transmitted infection.”

Having the option of having sex without worrying about spreading infections allows you to focus on your partner and enjoy the moment.

He says: “I don’t know how to decide.”

You say: “Let's learn together.”

Working together to put on the condom correctly makes you both feel responsible and takes the pressure off one partner to take care of both of you're sexual health.

He says: "You take contraceptives, we are both healthy, so we don't need them."

You say: “Contraception does not protect against sexually transmitted infections! Many people with infections do not show symptoms, so even if we think we are healthy, we should get tested and continue to use protection. Some infections, like syphilis, can show up very late, so you could have gotten it from a previous partner anyway.”

It's true! 70% of people with an infection do not show symptoms, and syphilis can appear up to 20 years later! Monogamy does not guarantee protection, as fidelity and different relationship dynamics do not eliminate the risk of infections.

He says: “I haven’t had this problem with previous partners.”

You tell her: “I am not my previous partners. I see protection as a way to respect myself and to take the pressure and worry out of infections or unwanted pregnancy.”

Comparing your current situation to previous partners is not fair. The past is in the past, every relationship is unique. If you want to use a condom, simply explain that this is how you work, and this is the way your partner should accept it.

He says: "We didn't use condoms before, why should we use them now?"

You say, “I changed my mind and I want to start now. It’s okay to change your mind!”

Being informed about your sexual health is part of taking care of your well-being. It's always okay to change your mind and make the best decision with the information you have.

If after this conversation your partner still doesn't respect your decisions or boundaries, make it clear that you won't have sex without a condom. If someone threatens you or says that you'd rather break up than use a condom, they're not a partner who can respect you or themselves. "No" means "No."