We used to call it “slow fading,” but now this phenomenon has a new name: “avoidant discard.” And yes, it sounds like something you need a prescription drug to treat. If you’re not familiar with the term, it’s a way of walking away from a relationship without actually ending it. As psychologist Morgan Anderson explains, someone who engages in “avoidant discard” emotionally and physically distances themselves from a relationship without explicitly ending it. This can mean everything from shorter and shorter messages to avoiding meetings or gradually cooling off all communication.
Why does it happen?
Unlike “slow discard,” which can happen simply because someone doesn’t have the courage to say “I don’t like you anymore,” “avoidant discard” is related to a person’s attachment style. People with this attachment style fear emotional intimacy and value their independence over deepening relationships, so they instinctively create distance. And ironically, this distance often occurs when the relationship is going well!
So, if everything was going like a fairytale and suddenly your partner became cold and inexplicably distant, it's not because you did anything wrong. Maybe it was the very fact that the relationship was getting stronger that scared him off.
But is this always the reason?
Of course not. Many people may slowly cut you out of their lives not because of childhood trauma or a certain attachment style, but simply because they don't know how to communicate. Or worse yet—because they don't care enough to give you an explanation.
And that's the good news! Because the reason someone treated you this way is no longer your problem. If you're experiencing avoidant discard, I hope you get over it soon. And the next time someone treats you like a backup option, maybe it's better not to wait until they completely discard you. Get rid of them yourself!
Sources: Cosmopolitan
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