Criticism is often difficult to accept. It not only involves judging our actions, but also unconsciously affects our sense of personal worth. Regardless of how we perceive it, whether from friends, colleagues or family, criticism often evokes feelings of insecurity and fear. But what is behind this fear and why do we feel threatened by it?
1. The volatile nature of criticism
When someone points out one of our flaws, we often take this as a message about our inferiority compared to them. Even if their purpose is "for our own good" and aimed at improvement, our social insecurities make us react as if the main motive of the criticism is to put us down. Even when criticism is meant to help us, our desire to protect ourselves from it prevents us from taking advantage of the opportunity for improvement that has been offered to us.
2. The main value we give to safety
Whether in personal or professional relationships, we need to feel safe. It's hard not to be bothered by a negative review. Anything that doesn't match how we want to see ourselves is likely to make us nervous. So anything that conflicts with our desired self-image will make us feel "threatened".
3. A sense of importance
Very rarely does criticizing someone mean total exclusion or rejection. But if we don't have a good opinion of ourselves, criticism can make us interpret it as extreme rejection. These overreactions may have their origins in childhood, when parental criticism—if not delivered very carefully and tactfully—could feel like a rejection.
4. Impact on emotional health
Criticism, for those who have experienced emotional trauma or have low self-esteem, can feel like an attack on them. If someone is sensitive to criticism, their reaction may include great fear and feelings of shame. People who give criticism may mean well, but for people who struggle with self-confidence, any negative words can feel like a threat.
5. Hope for the acceptance and approval of others
Many of us want to feel accepted by others. When someone criticizes us, we feel that maybe we don't live up to their expectations. It is important to understand that criticism is not always an attack on our character, but is often an opportunity to reflect and improve ourselves.
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