It's understandable that parents want to do everything they can to help their kids succeed in school, life, and everywhere: private tutors, enrollment in extracurriculars, extra money for summer activities, and more.
These kinds of "investments" can make it harder for kids to succeed by not encouraging them to do the things they want, says Jennifer Breheny Wallace, a researcher. She calls the approach the "encore effect" or in simpler words "when a child is forced to perform or give more than his/her capacity".
Parents putting pressure on children to be more financially successful than them is a unique element of this generation, but the economic reality facing children now is quite different. During her research, Jennifer Wallace interviewed an eighth-grade boy who said he wanted to be an architect when he grew up. But after asking the average salary of an architect and the price of the house he must pay over the years to live in, he was disappointed.
Children are confusing a sense of personal fulfillment with professional achievement.
While the goal may be to encourage children to do their best, many parents are sending the message that if you don't get into a specific good school or earn a high salary, then you have less value.
To help children separate achievement from personal self-esteem, the researcher says parents should reject the idea that there is only one way to succeed. Let children participate in activities they enjoy. Remind children that what they do in their day and life is more important than where they spend their time.
Source: CNBC
