In an interview originally published in Marie Claire, child psychologist Alexandra Kappatou provides valuable guidance on how we should talk to children about sexual abuse and how we can build a culture of protection and trust.
Following the wave of public testimonies of sexual violence and harassment in Greece, including touching stories like those of actor Dimitris Mothonaios and Olympic athlete Sofia Bekatorou, the need to educate ourselves in a healthy and clear way about these topics has become a headline in the Greek media, but this phenomenon unfortunately extends everywhere in the world, so we all need to be educated and informed.
When and how to talk to children about the body and boundaries?
Conversations can start as early as 4-5 years old, with simple and precise words about body parts. Children need to learn that their bodies belong to them and that no one, except their parents in necessary cases or a doctor, has the right to touch them. The goal is not to scare them, but to help them understand that they can talk to their parents about anything that concerns them.
What are the signs that something is wrong?
Children often do not speak right away. Most of them remain silent for years. The signs can be emotional or physical: anxiety, withdrawal, sudden fears, changes in behavior, decline in academics, unusual sexual interest for age, or drawings with strange content. Some have physical injuries, receive unusual gifts, or hide behaviors they did not have before.
Why don't children talk?
Fear of disbelief, parental reaction, guilt, or threats from the abuser often prevent children from speaking up. Therefore, it is essential to build a relationship of trust where the child feels heard and protected.
What should a parent do in case of suspicion or discovery?
First, reassure the child that he is not guilty and is protected. Then, seek professional help from psychologists, legal institutions, and various organizations.
In the case of sexual abuse, forensic expertise and involvement of the authorities are also required.
Does trauma from abuse affect later life?
Yes. Trauma can affect self-esteem, personal relationships, emotional and sexual development. People who don't talk about it or don't get treatment often experience depression, self-harm or self-destructive behavior. The earlier the intervention, the better for their future.
Does pedophilia have a specific profile?
They are often "kind" people, close to children, with a sweet approach to them, it could be anyone: teachers, strangers or family members. They can be men or women, married or not. Parents should be attentive, not paranoid, but informed and involved in the child's life.
What role do schools and sex education play?
The lack of sex education in schools leaves a huge gap. Students need to learn about their bodies, boundaries, respect for themselves and others, how to accept differences, and recognize abusive behavior.
Parents should create a line of communication with their children so that they are not afraid and can share stories about their day that can reveal or prevent such events.
