When it comes to the profession or friends, you have the "no" at the tip of the tongue. Do you refuse tasks that do not belong to you, invitations from different people, or if you do not refuse them, adjust them according to your schedule, but in a romantic relationship you do not know how to set limits, because you think you are hurting your partner? If we are describing you, keep reading.
First, you need to know that the "boundaries" in a relationship are very important, because despite the negative connotation they have, as they are often confused with barriers, they help you to put yourself first, in many respects. If you do not tolerate / like something, your partner does not have to. Setting limits means respecting yourself, your partner and the relationship you have with him, having independence and defending your identity and desires.
If you are in dilemma how to do this, we have some tips for you.
Start with a self-reflection
What are the actions that can make communication between you and the person next to you even more effective? What bothers / bothers / worries you? If you notice a repetitive behavior that you do not like in your partner, first identify with yourself and then share with the other person.
Do not wait indefinitely
If you wait and wait, your limits will continue to be exceeded, as your lover can not read your mind.
Keep in mind that boundaries can be multidimensional
Yes, they are not just words and behaviors. You can also set limits on how your partner touches you, or how much time he or she spends with you. If you need time for yourself, ask. If you need more time with your partner, communicate!
Remember your limits
If you are still young in this work of "setting boundaries", remember yourself every day, until you have them clear, first for yourself and then for others.
Take the initiative to talk about them
Practically, the conversation about setting boundaries never opens, so it's a discussion you have to have!
Accompany the discussion with examples
Every dissatisfaction should be accompanied by a concrete example, so that the partner understands to what extent he has exaggerated.
Always use "I" instead of "us"
This is also a psychological trick that helps you maintain your identity in a relationship. You do a lot of things together, we totally agree, but you, continue to be an independent person, who has unique thoughts and feelings.
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