The first step towards reducing a growing phenomenon such as abuse is to be informed. The concept of sexual abuse is often limited to abuses committed by strangers in foreign environments, but many of us are probably abused every day by our partner and do not know it.
Violent relationships that escalate to sexual abuse often cause the victim to step in to denounce the abuser, be it a lover, spouse, or stranger.
How to tell if you are dealing with an abuser before it is too late ?! Some of the most typical signs are the following:
1- They are more than romantic - but only at the beginning
From the beginning the romance is at its peak. This includes great gestures, gifts and the display of an excessive devotion to you. This is not romantic at all. But it has to do with the sick idea of owning you. You are the price he seeks to achieve to please his ego. Abusive men tend to make serious commitments from the beginning, telling you "I love you," asking you to live together, having children, and so on. It all ends after the honeymoon. Their attention falls on you. They become possessive at one point, distancing themselves at another. He wants to make his partner dependent on him.
2- They want full control over the people you meet
Part of this is explained as jealousy. They become possessive and demanding. They want to know every detail about you. This means frequent phone calls and messages. Ask permission before meeting anyone. According to them this is done for your good, because "they want to protect you from the wild world."
3- You don't like your family and friends
Another sign that he is abusive is highlighted when he starts criticizing your social circle. A "they or me" discussion is created. Little by little he begins to drive you away from everyone, until he becomes the only person you can go out with and talk to.
4- They do not allow you to have your privacy
Especially on social media you will be under his surveillance all the time. The history of your actions and the messages you exchange will become his main target. He will ask you for the code and other details of your addresses. This, according to them, is a test of "faith." But even this time, it's just to control you.
5- They call you selfish
In addition to controlling your company, they begin to control the way you spend your money. That doesn't mean they want money for themselves. This is about your self-esteem. They will criticize you for spending money on someone other than him. So they want to lower their self-esteem.
6- They are always victims
They never admit that they are wrong and are never responsible for the bad things that happen to them. They even blame you for their abusive behavior. "I do it because I love you so much" excuses are common.
Starting with the latest case of the rape of a 15-year-old girl by the school guard, today she will march in a protest against sexual abuse, at 16:00, near the "Mother Teresa" square.
Source: The Independent
