You and your partner may not have any problems with your sex life, but that doesn't mean you aren't curious to discover, experiment and experience more. There's a problem: How do you tell him/her without damaging the relationship and making it seem like something is missing or wrong?
First, it's important to remember that while communication is very, very important to good sex, there is a limit to how much you can change someone's passions or sexual preferences.
Should you talk to your partner? Yes of course. But you also need to, first, be clear with yourself about what you want and intend to communicate.
You should avoid sentences like: "Too bad you don't like weird things in bed and it's hurting our sex life."
As for getting bored or feeling like things have faded, many therapists feel that it's perfectly okay to feel that way after a while with your partner. This is not a sign that the relationship is damaged or that you will no longer have a good sex life.
Of course, there are many ways to enjoy things; There are different power dynamics, sex acts, twists and scenarios that can make sex feel fresh. But ultimately, if you're not making an effort to make it happen, sex can feel repetitive.
Instead of innovation, maybe focus on desire. How can you make each other feel more open and wanted? How can you add surprise or mystery to your sex life? Is there a new place you two can have sex? Is there a new time of day? Can you masturbate together? Can you kiss without having sex? You can create new experiences within the confines of the sex you're already having.
You can open this thread with something like:
"Honey, I'm so crazy about you and sex with you is amazing, but it feels like we're doing the same things over and over and I'd love to try something new with you. I want to know what you will try or what you are open to. It doesn't have to be crazy, and if we try it and it turns out it's not for us, that's fine."
Also, let your partner know that he/she does not need to answer you right now. This is the beginning of a conversation that will last the entire time you are together.
The idea is that if this is the only person you are going to have a sex life with in the future, that sex life should be good and work for both of you!
Sex is a very loaded topic that comes with a lot of baggage for all of us, and it may take some patience to get out of the comfort zone for both of you, but you can work to get to a point where you can talk without problem.
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