How do most romances begin? Are there two strangers who meet and eventually fall in love - starting with a flirtation, moving on to dating and eventually a committed relationship? Or there are two people who are first friends, without romantic intentions, who eventually discover that they were made for each other, more or less like Monica and Chandler in "Friends".
If one were to examine the research on how romances begin, one might get the impression that romances of the "close friends" type are rare, as they receive very little attention in the research literature. But in fact, it is not uncommon for couples to get to know each other for months or years before they bond together. New research by Danu Anthony Stinson and colleagues, recently published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, explores how common romances are "initially friendly" and what attitudes people have toward these relationships.
The researchers found that about two-thirds of respondents reported being friends with their partner before they became romantically involved. Among married couples, those under the age of 30 were more likely to report that their romances started as friendships than those over 30. People in same-sex romances were also particularly likely to report that their relationship grew out of friendship .
In a separate study of 298 students, researchers asked them how they felt about different ways of knowing partners. While introducing through mutual friends (18 percent) and meeting at school (18 percent) were the preferred ways to find romance for some people, the vast majority preferred to be friends first. Almost half of the respondents indicated that starting as a friendship was the best way to meet a partner. It is still an open question whether older people think the same.
Were they really just "friends" in the beginning?
Chances are one or both parties have started the friendship in the hope that one day it will turn into something romantic. Although they have many sincere friendships, in a good part of the cases, at least one of the two is likely to feel something for the other. However, 70% of respondents say they "started it as friends, with no interest in more", but over time, interest has increased.
Unfortunately, this phenomenon has not been sufficiently studied, but we can say that the relationship "close friends" and partners at the same time, are often successful and long-term, especially if the respective boundaries of both parties are respected.
Source: Psychology Today
