There is (almost) nothing worse than discovering that your partner has cheated on you. A good romantic relationship is based on mutual trust, respect, admiration and attraction.
When a partner commits an act of infidelity, the bond of trust is broken. You may no longer feel respected or admired. Worst of all, you no longer know how they feel about you.
Despite these potentially devastating consequences, we often betray our partners. Surveys suggest that more than 60% of people have cheated on their long-term romantic partner or spouse at least once (Brogaard, 2015, cap. 8).
Why are so many of us unfaithful? Here are the 4 most common reasons
- We betray because we want emotion and unpredictability
Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. These stages of romantic relationships resemble the chemical profile of psychological disorders such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). During this time, dopamine levels rise, causing feelings of ecstasy and energy.
Because the honeymoon phase in romantic relationships often generates low brain serotonin levels and high dopamine levels, this phase often triggers feelings of extreme pleasure, combined with feelings of unpredictability and insecurity. Although this emotional cocktail reflects an unhealthy state of the brain, people may crave these emotions. Their absence then, gives you the idea that something is wrong.
Betrayal is secretive and potentially dangerous, so it can feel exciting and give us adrenaline.
- Now, it is easier than ever to meet and see other attractive people
Another reason why we betray is simply because we can. Before the early 1970s, it was much more common for women to be mothers at home and men at work. These oppressive social structures provided women with very few opportunities to betray. On the other hand, although men were less restricted, they were less likely to find people to betray, at least without intentionally asking for them.
Back then, it was also harder to hide betrayal. Today, there are 1001 ways to do something without letting others understand anything. Moreover, today we spend more time away from partners, we have more contacts with other people, virtual and in real life, etc.
- Betrayal can signal that something is wrong
Ndonjëherë tradhtia është një shenjë se diçka nuk është në rregull në lidhjen tuaj afatgjatë. Nëse ju qëndroni bashkë për arsye ekonomike, për hir të fëmijëve, për shkak të pronave të përbashkëta, komoditetit etj, mund të keni më shumë gjasa të kërkoni intimitet, admirim, kënaqësi dhe respekt diku tjetër.
- Herë pas herë, ndodh të tradhtosh
At a company holiday, you can drink a little more than you should and find yourself kissing a colleague in a hallway. While all betrayals undermine the trust of our partners, an unwanted kiss in a corner after a few glasses can be relatively innocent. But if you and your colleague (or colleague) end up going home after that, it's not that innocent. Unlike a single quick kiss, going to someone's house voluntarily requires making a deliberate decision.
The same goes for repeated violations. If you continue to find yourself kissing colleagues in the hallways on company holidays, you are probably doing it on purpose, even if you are not fully aware of the "purpose" at the time.
Source: Psychology Today
