One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists seek only emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and self-esteem. In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong and confident women.
While this may seem like nonsense, it is important to understand that the narcissistic traits of greatness and self-confidence are actually a mask for deep insecurities. What seems like a great self-confidence, sense of superiority etc. is actually a protective wall, created to block the narcissist from acknowledging his insecurities and lack of self-confidence.
At the same time, the narcissist uses that sense of self-confidence and security to portray a personality that is attractive to a confident, successful woman. She requires a man who does not need her constant support and who has the strength and ability to manage any situation. Most narcissists at the beginning of the relationship become a woman's ideal partner. This character has the power to continue for a period long enough to strengthen the bond. Then, they can begin to discover their true personality.
Narcissists often feel safe with strong partners as they have always had problems with a stable parenting figure. When you take responsibility, manage life effectively and create your own success, it becomes attractive to the narcissist. Combining this with your ability to show empathy and kindness creates a natural magnet for the narcissist who desperately wants to have those characteristics. In addition, the narcissist sees the strong woman as an "invasion." It gives him a sense of being equal or worthy of having a relationship with someone successful, independent and strong.
If you believe a partner is narcissistic or has narcissistic traits, deciding if the relationship should move forward is a critical step. The longer a strong and confident woman stays in a narcissistic relationship, the greater the challenge of getting out of that relationship.
Working with a therapist to clarify your needs, boundaries, and expectations in a relationship is an effective way to assess opportunities. While the narcissist may seek counseling and make changes to become a healthier partner, this is not a common answer for those with this personality disorder.
Source: Psychology Today
