When we are young, our brains are still developing, so we are very sensitive to the influence of adults. We trust them to build our perception of the world, but also of ourselves.
Parents play a key role in how we are raised, but at the same time, their behaviors towards us leave a "mark" for life.
If you grew up with self-centered parents, you may have heard phrases that were insulting, belittling, or manipulative, perhaps even repeatedly. And these words, even today, may come to mind as critical inner voices.
What exactly is a self-centered parent?
In the age of social media, where words like "toxic" or "narcissist" are used frequently and sometimes incorrectly, experts emphasize the importance of correctly understanding the term self-centered parent.
Egocentric parents are more concerned with their own feelings and needs than with the child's emotional world. They may lack emotional awareness, have not reflected on their own childhood wounds, and this prevents them from seeing the child's inner needs.
This does not always mean that they are malicious or want the child to feel bad, as often their behaviors are not intentional, but the impact remains great.
9 phrases that self-centered parents often use, according to experts
"You are a spoiled child."
It is used when the child is trying to set healthy boundaries. Instead of being listened to, they are labeled as "ungrateful."
"Don't act weak."
It comes with phrases like “Don't act like a baby” or “Be more polite/lady.” These phrases block the expression of emotions and create the idea that it is shameful to be sensitive.
“You are very sensitive.”
This sentence suppresses the child's feelings and makes them doubt their own experiences, thinking that they are wrong for having certain feelings, which in themselves may be more than normal.
“Wow, you're weird.”
It makes you feel bad about the individual you are, causing self-esteem issues and making the child think that they need to change who they are. This phrase can also inhibit a child's inner world, their creativity.
“You are too selfish.”
It is usually said when a child expresses needs or sets boundaries. It is labeled as disrespectful, even though it is healthy behavior. This teaches the child not to set healthy boundaries in the future, wanting to be a very good person in the eyes of others.
“You are very rude.”
A "cliché" that parents use to end arguments or when the child disagrees with them. In fact, in this case the child feels that complaining about something that bothers him is wrong and consequently learns to keep his worries inside.
“You’re exaggerating.”
It minimizes emotional experiences and often hides the parent's inability to take responsibility. Instead of addressing the child's distress, it "places" blame on his/her behavior.
“You are lazy.”
It is often used without considering other factors such as fatigue, lack of support, or neurodevelopmental difficulties. In the future, a child raised by these phrases tries to take on as much responsibility as possible to avoid being labeled as such.
"Boll, you were bored."
Phrase that teaches a child to suppress feelings instead of processing them. It can lead to anxiety or emotional difficulties in the future.
How to recover if you find yourself in these situations?
The first step is awareness. As experts say, awareness is not just about understanding what happened, but also about accepting the impact it has had on you and taking steps to create a healthier version of yourself emotionally. This can be achieved through reaching out to a professional.
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Source: Parade
