"In a society like ours, where every question after 27 is related to "are you married?", "do you have anyone?", "do you plan to have children?", being single for five years starts to look like a failure. Not necessarily to yourself – but to the eyes of others. And, over time, you also start to see yourself through their eyes."
I've never been the girl who lived for her boyfriends. I had a steady relationship in my mid-20s that felt like "the one," until it wasn't. Since then, I've dated, even tried apps that promise love with a swipe, but most of the experiences have been superficial, disappointing, and often with people I didn't even understand why I agreed to see a second time. In some cases, I've been the one who walked away when I noticed toxic behavior that I could no longer tolerate.
Despite this, I can't deny that there are nights when I feel empty. And it's not that I necessarily miss a partner, but I'm tormented by the idea that others see me as "the one left at the door." Because beyond the friends who are married, the relatives who ask loudly and those who comment quietly, there is also my mother herself - who, I think, makes me feel as if she has accepted that I will be alone forever. When she describes my future, she doesn't mention a husband or children - just a small house and a cat. It kills me that she doesn't understand that beyond the smile I give her, she hurts me with her words.
The shame I feel doesn't just come from loneliness, but from the way loneliness is viewed as a woman my age. It comes from not having the space to not love someone right now, to not conform to what's wrong just so you don't have to be alone. It comes from the feeling that if you're not in a relationship, then you're not "okay" or "fixed."
The truth is that many girls are in the same position, but they keep quiet. Because it's more acceptable to say that you haven't found "the right one" than to admit that sometimes you just don't feel anything for anyone. Or that you're used to being alone. Or that, at the moment, the only relationship that's working is the one with yourself.
And maybe this is neither tragic nor heroic. It's just... true."
Note: The article has been adapted by the editorial team for editorial purposes and clarity. Copyright Anabel.al / Reprinting without the permission of the editorial team is prohibited.
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