Are you the main character in your life or the sidekick that no one remembers at the end of the movie? If you've felt like the latter from time to time, we give you the opportunity to change that fact. At "Among Us", you can share your most honest thoughts, providing a non-judgmental environment where you can express yourself about the things you feel so strongly about that you need to share with someone, especially when it seems like no one understands you, or cares about the details of your daily life.
Your bike was stolen in the middle of the city and you were too embarrassed to chase the thief from behind? We care! Your boyfriend said "I love you" to you for the first time, but you didn't feel like saying it back? We care! Do you like to overdo it with alcohol from time to time and do mischief just to add a little adrenaline to your life? We care! The important thing is that you are doing something in life and we are all eyes and ears to give the right importance to your story. :)
“Let’s start with this: if a man is very neat, has a terrible commitment to style, takes perfectly lit photos of you for Instagram, and knows the “Sex and the City” series better than you do, there’s a good chance he’s not the man for you (he might be someone else’s husband, but not yours!). But I, the emotional detective, didn’t get it. I thought I was the problem.
At first, our relationship was perfect. He never fought with me, loved taking care of himself more than I did, and forgave me for everything. How could I not understand?? He gave me the most thoughtful gifts, gave me great advice on outfits, and even helped me with my hair when I was having a bad day. The truth is, he was better than any friend I'd ever had. And that's where I should have suspected it!
But I, the psychology of myself, the victim of every apology I've given in this life, decided to dig deep: why didn't I feel loved? Was I the problem? I started reading books, listening to podcasts about relationships, taking tests on attachment styles. The answer was always: "you need to work on yourself."
And I worked. God, how I worked! I went so deep into self-analysis that at one point I thought I had discovered a trauma I didn't know I had. I said: maybe I'm not used to accepting love? Maybe I'm afraid of intimacy? I even justified it by saying that he didn't touch me much, thinking that maybe it was just his type. Or maybe I was ugly.
And then it happened. He said it himself.
With absolute calm, he looks at me, sits me down, and says, "I think I like men."
This is where I get the most angry. Because let's take two scenarios. In the first, I catch him in a dramatic moment with another man. He follows me, apologizes, tells me I misunderstood him. Then days go by, he feels guilty, begs me, apologizes, buys me gifts, and I walk out of this relationship with my head held high. In the second, I check his phone, figure everything out, and start passive-aggressively harassing him. I never tell him directly that I know, I just leave a mark in every conversation until he tearfully admits everything. He cries, apologizes, feels guilty.
But when did he tell me himself? Nothing. I had nothing in my hand. I had neither the dramatic script nor the revenge. I felt like his close friend. He hates me so much that he didn't give me a dramatic breakup?! And then, suddenly, everything made sense.
He never turned his head to look at a girl on the street. Never. Not even once. If another man passed us, he would analyze the shoes, the watch, the haircut. But a woman? No reaction. And I, like a fool, hadn't noticed.
What if it had been a woman? Here I would have compared myself to her, it would have killed my self-confidence, I would have pretended not to care while inside I would analyze every detail of her. But how can I compare myself to men?? What should I do, doubt myself because I didn't have biceps like the Italian 3 kilometers away on Tinder, who is looking for "new friends" in Tirana?
You know that moment in movies when the protagonist finally realizes the truth and all the scenes of her life flash through her mind in fast forward ? Yes, that was my moment. And I laughed.
After all those months of self-reflection, reading, and trying to “feel the love,” it turned out that the problem wasn’t my trauma, my lack of empathy, or my complicated childhood. The problem was that he didn’t like women. And I was a woman. That’s it.
After the breakup, I had a period of emptiness where, for the first time, I didn't analyze myself. I no longer had to figure out why I felt the way I did, I didn't have to do therapy with myself at every turn. And I felt an inexplicable liberation. Here I am today, freer, happier, and with an ex-boyfriend who will probably become a fashion icon in the future. At least, his taste in guys was as good as his taste in clothes.”
Note: The article has been adapted by the editors for editorial purposes and clarity.
Copyright Anabel.al / Reprinting without permission of the editorial staff is prohibited.
