Relationships are not all made up of equal moments. Very often, love and commitment are not based on every little interaction, but on a few key aspects that carry more weight. This is where the 80/20 principle, also known as the Pareto principle, comes into play. This principle, originally used in business and economics to show that 80% of results come from 20% of effort, can also be applied to relationships to help us focus on the moments that really matter.
Understanding the 80/20 rule in relationships
Rather than expending emotional energy on every small interaction, understanding which efforts have the greatest impact can improve the quality of the relationship. This means that certain moments like meaningful conversations, support in difficult times and small gestures of love are what really contribute the most to strengthening the bond.
A small number of behaviors and interactions can have a greater impact on happiness and relationship fulfillment than many small routine actions.
Small rituals and habits can reinforce commitment to a partner and promote positive feelings.
Curiosity and asking in-depth questions can help partners discover and rediscover each other.
Interactions that represent the "20 percent"
The interactions that carry the most emotional weight vary from one couple to another, but often include:
Meaningful Conversations - Discussions that go beyond superficial conversations and create emotional intimacy.
Small actions – Meaningful moments such as making a surprise for your partner or offering support in a time of need.
Moments of Vulnerability - Sharing your deepest feelings and thoughts without fear of judgement.
Laughing together - Humor helps create a healthy and happy atmosphere.
Shared Rituals - Spending quality time consistently reinforces commitment.
Curiosity and deep questions - Questions that provoke new thoughts and conversations can help partners rediscover each other.
How to put the principle into practice
To apply this principle to your relationship, start by identifying the interactions that have brought you the most closeness and joy in the past. Then, try to focus on these moments and increase their frequency. At the same time, don't stress about interactions that don't have a big impact.
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