Do you have a tendency to pursue negative romantic relationships in your love life? Do you feel like you are meeting the same person, having the same problems and experiencing the same unsatisfactory result?
Negative tendencies in relationships often start with the type of person you are attracted to. For example, many single people complain that "healthy relationships" are boring. Therefore, they go after the 'brilliant', charismatic person, regardless of qualities such as politeness or emotional intelligence.
Negative attachment tendencies and childhood trauma
The key to finding true love and more fulfilling relationships begins with identifying your negative tendencies and understanding the reasons why you keep making the same mistakes. Negative tendencies in relationships usually reflect unresolved childhood trauma resulting from parenting, unmet needs in childhood, or poorly established boundaries.
By following these steps you can help break negative romantic patterns and 'liberate' yourself:
1. Make a reflective pause between the impulse of the moment and the action
No matter how attracted you are to another person, find a way to contain yourself. Impulsivity in new relationships is often misguided and based on momentary gratification rather than your intuition and wisdom.
2. Pay more attention to self-improvement
Working with a therapist or joining a therapy group is a growth choice that always pays off. The work may be hard, but learning to have a positive romantic relationship is worth it.
3. Have clear goals and expectations for yourself in the relationship
Once you've identified the patterns you usually follow in your romantic relationships, reverse them. For example, enter a relationship with the expectation of being appreciated, respected, and not working so hard. Make your wants and needs clear.
Walk away if necessary
If someone mistreats you and makes you feel ashamed or neglected, find the strength to walk away. People often ignore red flags early in a relationship. Don't be fooled. If your new romantic relationship is causing you feelings of discomfort, shame, or fear, just don't pursue it. In these situations, remember these simple words: "I deserve better."
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