People are "programmed" to touch. From birth to the day we die, our need for physical contact remains the same. Touch starvation occurs when a person experiences little or no touch from other people.
This phenomenon is more common in countries that are becoming increasingly inclined to avoid physical contact. For example, a 2015 study measured the extent to which people accepted physical contact in five countries. Finland and France were ranked at the top, while the United Kingdom was at the bottom.
Why cultures differ in their acceptance of touch is not certain. It may be due to increased use of technology, fear that touch may be seen as inappropriate, or cultural factors.
But research has shown that a lack of regular human contact can have some serious, long-term effects.
How to understand if you are "touch starved"?
There is no exact way to know. But, basically, you can feel extremely lonely from the lack of warm emotions.
These signs can be combined with:
- Feeling depressed;
- Anxiety;
- Stress;
- Minimal satisfaction in the relationship;
- Difficulty sleeping;
- Tendency to avoid secure connections.
You can also unconsciously do things to add touch, such as taking long, warm baths, wrapping yourself in blankets, and even holding a pet.
What happens if you don't like physical contact: can you still be "touch starved"?
Some people closely associate touch with trust. If they do not trust a person, it is impossible for them to want that person to touch them. But that doesn't mean they don't want the benefits of a hug.
For example, dislike of touch sometimes comes from people on the neurodivergent spectrum and from those who are asexual.
How to "recover" from "touch starvation"?
For yourself:
-Physical contact with those you love. Instead of lying on the sofa, try to cuddle with your loved ones;
-Greet family members with a hug;
-In a romantic relationship, hold hands with your partner or hug often. In platonic ones, a touch on the arm or a rub on the back is enough.
For your loved ones:
-Give them lots of positive touch. This can range from gentle touches to full hugs several times a day;
-Avoid associating touch with a negative emotion.
- Allow children to be close to you as often as possible. Allowing your baby to sit on your lap or gently massaging your baby are important for your baby's bonding and emotional development.
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