Relationship standards represent the expectations, values, and criteria a person has for what is acceptable, desirable, or necessary in a romantic relationship. These standards include emotional, physical and psychological aspects and guide how partners should treat each other, what behaviors are acceptable and what each expects from the relationship.
When a person's standards are lowered, it can lead to resentment, feelings of frustration, and unhealthy relationship dynamics. Here are three signs you're justifying too much in your romantic relationship.
1. Justifying their toxic behavior
While relationship standards are subjective and vary from person to person, a common reason to lower them is to manage expectations. Initially, you may have high expectations, but over time, you realize that perfection is unattainable and compromises are necessary.
However, it is essential not to compromise on core values. Personal insecurities, such as a lack of self-esteem, often lead people to lower their standards for fear that by holding them too high, they may end up alone or unloved. They can justify their partner's behavior through:
Justifications: This involves downplaying the partner's negative behaviors, convincing yourself that they are not a big deal or that everyone has their own flaws. For example, they may ignore frequent fights or rude comments, calling them "normal problems" in the relationship, not noticing the impact these behaviors have on their happiness and self-esteem.
Excessive Forgiveness: While forgiveness is a healthy part of any relationship, it becomes a problem when it is used to continually rationalize serious issues without addressing them. People may forgive their partner for behavior such as dishonesty or emotional neglect, hoping that things will improve, but without setting boundaries, these problems will persist.
Justification: This involves justifying the partner's bad behavior by finding reasons to make it acceptable. For example, one may justify their partner's irritability by "putting it down" to work stress or past traumas, instead of realizing that such behavior is unacceptable and needs to be addressed. This reasoning creates a pattern of accepting behaviors that undermine the foundation of the relationship.
2. Hope for change
A common misconception that leads people to lower their standards in relationships is the belief that they can change their partner. They may ignore negative behaviors such as emotional disengagement, lack of respect, lack of ambition or even dishonesty, convincing themselves that with enough love and support, their partner will "change."
3. You are the only one who makes sacrifices
A clear sign that you've lowered your standards is when you're always the one offering and making all the effort, while your partner never meets you halfway. This often happens when people sacrifice a lot, neglecting their own needs in the hope that their love will one day be reciprocated and reciprocated.
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