We are social creatures, so it seems normal to seek the approval of others for things related to work, education, projects, plans, etc. But this desire can go too far, so much so that the opinion of others becomes the standard for every decision-making in life. "When an obsession with the opinions of others interferes with your life, relationships, and decisions, it's more than a problem," says clinical psychologist Geoffrey Gold.
But how to stop this phenomenon? Here are five tips from the pros:
#1 Know that no one thinks about you as much as you do
Studies often show that we overestimate certain people and situations when they don't have you on their radar. Remind yourself of this fact and start sleeping more peacefully, worrying less about what others say or think about you.
#2 Don't try to read other people's minds
The truth is, if others don't tell you what they think of you, you'll never know their opinion. Therefore, do not try to get into the minds of others to "dig" to the deepest recesses. If these people were kind or friendly to you, they would have come to you and discussed things at the table.
#3 Stop overwhelming thoughts that create distractions for yourself
This is a particularly useful tip if you're obsessing over something that isn't actually the end of the world. If the thoughts of others manage to penetrate the normal cycle of daily life, physical activities, gym, running, listening to music or peaceful sleep, you should immediately give up this approach.
#4 Be aware of the negative biases of others
Our brains are wired to dwell on negative things more than positive ones. But experts say it's helpful to remind yourself that your mind is often biased toward the bad, to filter out the good, so other people's thoughts don't enter this cycle.
#5 Get out of your head and put the facts on the table
When emotions like panic, worry, or paranoia start swirling around in your head, it's easy to get caught up in imagining the most horrible things people might say or think about you. Therapists say you should rely on neutral facts and not guesswork.
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