No matter how much you love your partner, there are probably some behaviors or things that annoy you about him. Loud ringing of the phone, conversations with "fingers in the ear" with people you meet on the street, there are probably many situations that irritate you.
Sabrina Romanoff, a clinical psychologist in New York, says there's a common mistake many couples make when trying to address or "fix" their partner's irritating behaviors.
"Don't criticize without facts and a solid basis of argument," she says. For example, she suggests avoiding criticisms such as, "You always forget to tell me about your plans until the last second," or "It's so annoying that I'm the only one doing the dishes because you can't even Complaints like these will not only make the partner feel attacked, but they will certainly no longer want to engage in anything related to the home, the running of affairs, the children, etc.
So instead of just focusing on what they're doing wrong, explain the impact this particular behavior has on you and what you'd like them to do instead.
So you can say, “It bothers me when you don't tell me about your plans until the last minute. Can you give me a signal next time so I don't stay up all night wondering where you are?”
Shifting the conversation toward a solution is more likely to lead to a meaningful discussion and less fights and protracted arguments.
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Source: Self
