The first step to protecting your boundaries from others, especially people who don't necessarily respect or understand them, is to commit to them yourself, according to psychotherapist Tracy Livecchi.
This might look like setting an actionable, realistic goal and creating a plan for how you will achieve the goal.
If you don't really understand why you are doing it and what the benefits of making this change might be, it will be even more difficult to explain it to other people. Once you're committed, you can make plans to find the right people and then set the "law" for your boundaries.
People respect it when others set boundaries, and what's more, they feel good if it's explained in a way that doesn't make the person feel like they're doing something wrong.
Once you've shared your new goal or habit with the stakeholders in your life, you can let them know how they can support you. The function of this exercise is to help your circle better understand how to help you and also help them prepare for the expectations you will have of them.
For example, if you have decided not to drink even one glass of alcohol for the month of January, you can tell them not to insist any longer on doing otherwise.
Whatever your goal, to protect the boundaries you've set, make sure you communicate clearly and compassionately with everyone.
How to respond when someone violates your boundaries
People will make mistakes and violate your boundaries, sometimes repeatedly. It's frustrating in practice, but it's also important to remember that most people aren't trying to disrespect you. This comes from a lack of awareness and says more about them than it does about you.
The best way to respond is to remind them again of your boundaries.
If that doesn't work either, your next step in protecting boundaries may involve a deeper, more detailed conversation.
And if that doesn't bring any results either, maybe it's time to ask: Is it worth hanging out with someone who doesn't even respect your space?
Maybe it's time to be around more accepting and supportive people.
