It can be difficult to accept a childhood trauma, especially when you know its history and origins. In fact, for many people it is easier to stay in constant denial and not admit that they have a trauma that stems from their childhood. Often, they embrace the mindset: “So what? Everyone has trauma," which keeps them stuck in denial.
According to therapist Kaytee Gillis, it's important for people to understand that a traumatic story also brings guilt, remorse and a range of negative feelings, but if these feelings are hidden and repressed, they come out in unexpected ways. Many people experience negative emotions when they want to heal from traumas, others may have such difficulties that provoke insecurity, but again, traumas must be resolved.
If you think there is a possibility that past traumas are affecting your life in the present, some questions can help you identify their impact. Calm down and ask yourself these questions:
1. When I think about my childhood, do I feel sadness and sorrow? (Never/sometimes/often/always)
2. Do I have difficulties in relations with family members? (Never/sometimes/often/always)
3. Do I think people will abandon me?
(Never/sometimes/often/always)
4. Do I have problems with friendships or romantic relationships and feel that I will not be able to create a healthy relationship?
(Never/sometimes/often/always)
5. Do I think I'm not good enough in love? (Never/sometimes/often/always)6.
6. Are there long periods of time that I don't remember from childhood? (Never/sometimes/often/always)
7. Do I find it difficult to stay with family even for a short time, as I may feel controlled or misunderstood? (Never/sometimes/often/always)
8. I feel different, or disconnected from relationships with others (Never/sometimes/often/always)
9. Do I have a history of drug use, alcohol, or even unhealthy eating? (Never/sometimes/often/always)
10. I have a hard time trusting people because I think they will let me down in the end? (Never/sometimes/often/always)
11. Do I tend to overreact (Never/sometimes/often/always)
12. Have I ever been sexually, emotionally, physically, or verbally abused by someone who was supposed to care for me?
Use these questions as a guide to getting to know yourself better. If the answers hurt you, or target a feeling of anxiety in you, it is most likely a sensitive story and a "trauma affected area". It is important to understand that trauma will also manifest in events that are not directly related to it, but especially in those that evoke memories and thoughts of abandonment, violence and many other experiences.
There is no "correct" way to feel when answering questions. It's okay to feel anxious, cry, or not be affected at all. Anyway, answer honestly.
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