Work, children, cooking dinner and everyday life often "threaten" the longevity of marriage and the relationship between partners. But, there is a solution, according to psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John M. Gottman, who spoke for the PureWow website. Couples are more likely to enjoy marriage if they build highly detailed "love maps."
Love maps are a summary of everything you know about your partner: hobbies, dreams, disappointments, etc. Gottman's theory, part of a therapeutic method he has been practicing for 50 years, is that when we are clear on these details, our partner feels heard and valued.
What is the Love Map?
A metaphorical rather than literal map, the love map relates to your partner's facts, emotions and intelligence. You creatively design the inner and outer world of your partner. Psychologist Karen Bridbord says that couples who regularly seek deep understanding of each other's world are much happier.
When should a couple try the love map?
Nuk ka kohë të gabuar. Çiftet mund ta bëjnë këtë disa herë gjatë marrëdhënies së tyre. Psikologia Dana McNeil paralajmëron se nëse emocionet dhe bisedat nuk janë themeli i marrëdhënies, do të keni probleme më vonë. “Ne kemi endorfinë dhe nuk bëjmë pyetje të vështira në fillim të lidhjes sepse nuk duam të na braktisin, por zona e rehatisë nuk shijon gjithmonë,” shpjegon ajo. Më vonë, pasi të keni hedhur një themel të njohurive dhe dëshirave për të dashurin tuaj, sfida është të qëndroni gjatë në këtë marrëdhënie.
Sa kohë zgjat harta e dashurisë?
Therapists suggest downloading the free Gottman Card Decks app, which has a "Love Maps" section. "What is your partner's favorite composer or band?" or "What was your partner wearing when you first met?" The challenge is to choose a question, answer it and then discuss it with your partner. The purpose of the application is not the results or keeping track of them, but the conversation and connection with the partner.
