Underestimation is a well-known manipulation tactic by emotional abusers. They question everything about you, from feelings, memories, judgment, reality, etc. It is difficult for the victims to understand what is happening.
"People who can't reason about different situations or events use tactics to confuse you," therapist Shannon Thomas tells HuffPost.
Therapists reveal some of the common phrases that manipulative people use. How to recognize and deal with them:
1. "This never happened"
Manipulative people will always say something abusive and then deny that it happened, "planting" the seeds of doubt in you.
2. "You are very sensitive"
He made remarks to you in front of family or friends and you felt bad? He will say that it was just a "joke". "Once an abusive partner breaks the victim's ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is likely to put up with the abusive behavior and stay in the relationship," said therapist Beverly Engel.
3. "You're crazy and everyone else thinks so"
Over time, the lies and distortions of reality make the victim question their own thoughts. The abusive person uses this to their advantage. An abuser tries to convince your friends and family that you are mentally unstable in order to put you down and create distance between you and your family.
4. "You have a terrible memory"
"We all have moments where we forget certain details or situations," Thomas said. "This is normal. An emotional abuser will focus on making the victim question their memory of any situation so that they have complete control over them."
5. "I'm sorry you think I hurt you"
"At first glance, this may seem like an apology, but it is not. Rather, it's a way for the abuser to avoid responsibility for any pain they've caused and instead blame you for misinterpreting the situation,” said clinical psychologist B. Nilaja Green.
6. "You should have known how I would react"
This is another case of manipulators trying to shift responsibility from themselves to the victim. Instead of being accountable for their behavior, they will blame it on you. "Distorting the facts is a tactic of abusive people so they can avoid personal responsibility from any situation," Thomas said.
