You know if there's a perfect time to set some limits it's the holiday season? Every year starts with high expectations for love, joy and good energy, but this is not the reality for most people. It can even be a very stressful time.
During this period, long visits from people, family members who live far away, etc. make you feel as if your personal space is being violated and you feel the need to put up some barriers. This is for the simple reason that holiday dinners do not turn into fights.
Experts say that setting limits (including the closest people) causes a kind of guilt. You may feel sad because you let a friend down by saying no, or your decision upset your mom. If this happens, there are ways to manage the guilt.
Feeling guilty is definitely not a good state. That said, you are uncomfortable in the conversations you have, thinking that your limits are not making your family happy, but remember that you are the only person who knows for sure when the limit is good for you. You cannot be influenced by anyone's opinion or reaction. In fact, when someone reacts badly after a certain limit you set is a sign that a limit was necessary.
Boundaries are set to show people that they should treat you as you deserve because someone who treats you this way neither needs boundary setting nor responds to your limits.
Those who really love you will understand and be happy for the decisions you make without being selfish. Even relationships after setting limits will become even healthier because you are protecting and meeting your needs. Through them, you will understand who really loves you.
To combat guilt, remember your original goal. You don't want to hurt anyone, you're doing it to protect your mental health and emotional well-being.
Also remember that you would feel more guilty about yourself if you were the person who is always there for others and the first to ask everyone. For such people, setting some limits is a slightly more difficult process, but necessary because it would restore self-respect and prestige.
Source: Huffington Post
