The sex therapist: 10 secrets for a better sex relationship

1. Use your senses:  Use your five senses (yes, all five) to focus on body sensations.

2. Expand the definition of sex:  Sex is more than penetration. For the sake of variety, try more, which can include everything from deep kisses, sensual touches and erotic massages, to the use of vibrators or other sex toys. Exploring a variety of bodily pleasures is key to achieving orgasm.

3. Understand each other's love language:  When the going gets tough in the bedroom, lean on your strengths. It's easy enough to shift blame and get upset when your needs aren't met. But instead of being embarrassed, understand each other's point of view. Find some common ground.

4. Avoid comparing your partner with past partners: Who wants to be compared? Comparison creates unnecessary uncertainty and resentment. Instead, enjoy each other and keep things exciting. Create new memories!

5. Be a detective:  Be curious about your body and his/hers!

6. Know the limits:  When you are able to recognize how much time and energy you are able to devote to yourself and your partner, you will begin to feel less pressure and more in control in creating the sex life you want.

7. Liven Up:  Seriously! Sex doesn't have to be so serious.

8. Intentionally schedule time for intimacy:  Schedule time for yourself and your partner, or simply put, don't overwhelm yourself with useless activities. To keep the spark alive, you should set aside at least an hour a week to explore each other's bodies.

9. Turn off your phone and get some sleep:  To feel more comfortable in your body and more energized to explore something new in the bedroom, you need to be well rested.

10. Prioritize time:  Create more opportunities for sexual intimacy.

- Written for Healthline by Janet Brito, a sex therapist.

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