1. Ask yourself: Is there at least 10% of marriage worth saving?
If the couples I see focus even on a small core of positivity, this could be the foundation for rebuilding their relationship. Most couples are ambivalent about divorce, they have a stifling pattern that focuses on each other's weaknesses. If they think about parts of their relationship and their husband that is positive, it gives them the opportunity to fix the relationship.
2. Be aware that this is a difficult part.
A marriage crisis is likely to be between waiting to leave the marriage and wait for it to work.
3. Get closer and touch your partner even if you don't like it.
When your relationship is on the verge of ending the last thing you want to do is get close to each other. However, it's something you have to do. See if this comes naturally or strengthened. You can write to your partner or send flowers to work. It may be a strengthened thing, but it's a gesture that would appreciate it very much.
4. Conflict can push you towards growth.
Problems do not necessarily mean that marriage must end. Conflicts can also mean that there may be growth. In every romantic relationship there is always a power struggle. During this stage it is everyone's tendency to be protective. In this new position, everyone blames the partner. This can cause an ingood reaction of your partner who can withdraw or attack you.
5. Use "me" instead of "we."
Everyone knows that marriage is made up of two people. Instead of saying "we don't agree" or "we don't have sex anymore" use the word "I" to see how you contributed to this situation. You can build sentences like: "We no longer have sex, but I need my partner to make an effort,"
6. Ask each other if you want to work to improve marriage.
The strongest predictor of success is the desire to make the relationship work. If both partners want to, it'll probably happen.
7. Understand that relationships are not always easier with a new partner.
Focus on your growth. If you can start a new relationship with someone else. The same can happen. Be aware about therapy. If even after her the answer is divorce, make her guiltless.
8. If you have children, consider that your decision is of great importance to them.
If you have children, tell them you've done everything you can to save this relationship.
9. Focus on what you can change in your marriage.
Focus on what you can control. When partners come for therapy, they have a list of things they'd like their partner not to do. Instead focus on those things you can control and let your partner deal with these things. You'll soon find yourself more relaxed, in a better mood, and your relationship will work better.
Burimi: The Huffington Post
