Like romantic relationships or family ties, friendships grow, shrink, evolve, or stagnate. However, for some, it is extremely difficult to leave a friendship, even if it has become toxic, has disrespect or just something is wrong. Then why? Why do we stay in friendships that clearly no longer work for us?
1. You share a lot of stories
While nostalgia and ethos about childhood friendships can lead to closeness that endures and grows over time, it can also hinder the separation process when that friendship ceases to feel reciprocal or even sincere. Childhood friends can stay friends because they feel guilty about breaking the sacred bond of a long friendship. Even the ability to say "we've been friends for 20 years" can make it harder to get out of a friendship. The history ties you have with each other and the fact that you know a lot about each other - all present a significant barrier to ending a friendship that is no longer working.
2. He (she) helped you in a difficult period
When a friend helps you get through a difficult life event or season, you may feel that you owe it to that person forever. And of course, loyalty can deepen a friendship, but sometimes, it becomes the last thread that holds together a slightly shaky relationship. When friendship ceases to feel reciprocal, it may be time to ask yourself:
- What do I owe this friend and for how long?
- Does their support mean that nothing can ever change between us?
- Can I feel grateful for their help and honor in the past, but see where the relationship is now, unaffected by the past?
3. Feel connected (constantly) to a friend, through a shared group
Ndonjëherë dalja nga një miqësi është veçanërisht e vështirë nëse miqësia funksionon kryesisht në kontekstin e një grupi. Në këtë skenar, një person mund të përpiqet të distancohet nga një mik, pa u shkëputur nga një grup më i madh shoqëror. Si rezultat, një person mund të durojë një miqësi zhgënjyese ose të pakënaqur ose të zbusë ndikimin e atij individi në emër të të qenit pjesë e kolektivit.
4. Është më e lehtë të mbash një miqësi shkatërruese sesa të vendosësh kufij të rinj
Për ata që luftojnë me përcaktimin e kufijve ose përballjen, mund të duket më e lehtë të qëndrojnë në një miqësi "toksike" se të përballen njëherë e mirë me çfarë është gabim.
5. Askush nuk ju ka mësuar si të ndaheni nga një mik/e
Although romantic separation, family problems, etc. are talked about everywhere, separation from a friend is rarely discussed. This lack of communication often makes us not even think of leaving a society, which we feel no longer belongs to us, as an option.
Leaving is difficult and painful in any circumstance. It requires you to face unpleasant truths. However, sometimes it is what needs to be done. The courage to get away from something leaves room for the right people to come into our lives and helps us grow as human beings.
Source: Psychology Today
