Staying connected to children doesn't mean giving up authority.
Your children are growing up and becoming more independent. They no longer need you in the same way they used to. This can be tiring for both parties. Their changes require you to also reconsider the way you raise them and your role as a parent.
Although conflict is inevitable as children seek independence, the relationship you've built doesn't have to crumble. Parents who succeed have some key habits that keep communication open and trust strong.
Here are 7 things smart parents do to avoid becoming their teenage child's enemy:
Set high, but reasonable expectations
Children usually adjust themselves to the standards that are set for them. By setting high and clear expectations, you show that you have faith in them and help them develop self-confidence and set high standards for themselves.
Create clear rules and consequences
Children need clarity. Give clear rules and warnings about consequences if they are not followed. For example, set a specific curfew instead of saying “don’t stay out too late.”
Explain the reasons for the rules
Children want and need to understand why rules exist. Explaining the reason behind the rules helps them develop a strong moral compass. Be patient when they challenge the rules.
They behave like a parent, not a friend.
It's tempting to befriend your child, but they need a parent. Be honest and fair, teach them that independence doesn't preclude seeking support, and help your child find the right path for themselves.
Condemn specific actions, not character
When children make mistakes, criticism should be limited to their actions, not their character or general flaws. This maintains self-confidence and trust in the relationship.
They are flexible and allow for independence.
Raising a person is about helping them become independent. Give them space to make decisions and responsibilities gradually, while you monitor and maintain boundaries.
Give a personal example
Teenagers watch everything you do. Set high standards, be honest, and admit when you're wrong. Your behavior teaches them how to take care of themselves emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Raising teenagers is challenging, but also more rewarding and interesting than any other job. These years go by quickly, so take a deep breath and try to enjoy yourself along the way.
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