"I didn't think I would ever write my story, but never say never tell this conversation.
My story begins at the age of 16, eight years ago, when I was introduced to a single boy and at the time I thought he was the right one. I gave it to him without thinking twice, but it didn't turn out as I dreamed. After all, he was nine years older than me and did the job; the girl hunted in front of the gymnasium as it was barbon. I found out late. I was deceived by the look, the car. Absolutely blame it on my age, and what was expected came true: He took the most expensive thing a girl has and went away badly. She didn't think about me at all and didn't think how small and defenseless I was, she just did what she knew best: Cheating on little girls.
The problem is that after leaving, I, to this day, can't give it to anyone else. I've had two, three connections over these eight years, but they didn't last. When it comes to committing relationships, I just can't. I get into a state of anxiety, despite the fact that I may have had feelings for my partner and have escaped with full consciousness to the point. I can not. I don't know why that happens to me.
When I get to know a guy for a relationship and say I have eight years without a relationship, they don't believe me. They say there is no possibility and no way to convince them that it is true. then I think, like eight, like five, like a year, I'm just not a virgin. I am not old enough to even know guys that I think because I am not a virgin, no one will take me for granted, despite my accomplishments. I have graduated from school, I am in a good job, I am surrounded by educated people and when the conversation goes on, they say they want their bride intact. It's made me complex, despite the fact that very few people know my story. I suffer so much that I am not a virgin. I think I lost it, but the time doesn't come back and I wouldn't mind if I gave it to someone who was worth it and not to him.
I want to end with "not as a boy," an expression I say more often than I should. "
Posted in Anabel's editorial office in August 2014.
