Some friendships last a lifetime and fade slowly. That's how life works, although it hurts to end a friendship with which we may have associated some of our most beautiful memories.
But how do we know when it's time to let go of a friendship?
Mental health counselor Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, gives us some guidance.
1. Conversations are rushed or superficial:
Healthy friendships are built on both small talk and meaningful conversations. But in a friendship that's ending, communication is lost first. They give way to awkward silences and dialogues that are just 'just to say'.
2. Our lives are evolving differently and neither of us is particularly keen to find time for a date:
One of the most common reasons a friendship ends is simply because we go our separate ways. For example, our former friend may continue to go out until the morning, while we have chosen to be parents. This doesn't necessarily mean that it's the end of the friendship, but if neither of us seems willing to maintain it in the new circumstances, it may be time to say goodbye.
3. We feel more and more strongly that we are the only ones striving for this friendship:
Are we, for example, the ones who always initiate virtual conversations or the ones who ask for meetings? Is it just one of us sharing details of our personal lives? A healthy friendship is based on reciprocity, otherwise it ends.
4. We lack the motivation to overcome this "crisis" period:
Even the strongest friendships can be tested by, for example, a misunderstanding or a fight, but if they endure, both parties will try to make amends. But if we feel that it's just not "worth" doing what it takes to maintain a friendship, it may be time to truly leave it behind.
5. We don't miss it, we don't feel the desire to communicate:
There are periods when we are all busy, e.g. with work or our family, however sooner or later we will miss our friends, we will feel the need to exchange one more message, to know their news and to share something of our own, more or less important. Otherwise, our friendship is over.
