In a world where everything happens at breakneck speed—from instant messaging to fast food to binge-watching TV shows—even sex often ends up following the same trajectory. But if someone told you that slowing down in the bedroom could lead to not only a more pleasurable experience, but also a deeper connection with your partner, would you stop to think?
Relationship experts and sex therapists call slow sex an “art” that many couples need to cultivate. By giving yourself and your partner time, every touch, kiss, and caress becomes a more intense exploration. “When you slow down, you become more attentive to each other’s bodies, discovering sensations that you might miss in a rushed moment,” says Rachel Needle, a psychologist and co-director of the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.
But what makes this type of relationship so special?
In addition to increasing intimacy between partners, slow sex gives you time to experience fuller and more intense orgasms. Instead of going from “0 to 100” as TV shows and movies often teach us, pausing to savor the moment can be a way to reduce anxiety and bring back the fun in sexual relations.
“Slowing down has incredible benefits for your sex life and your relationship,” explains Jesse Kahn, director and sex therapist at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York. “A slower approach makes the experience not only more engaging, but also more fun and liberating.”
If you're thinking about embracing this "slow art," start small. Focus on caresses, try to make sex a journey of exploration rather than a race to reach a certain point. Sometimes, it's the feeling of being in the moment that brings the greatest pleasure. And, since we're talking about taking your time, don't forget: slowing down is a luxury you can experience together, whenever you feel like it.
Maybe it's time to stop for a moment and say to yourself: "Slowly, but surely!"
