Relationships

Here are the most common years couples break up, according to experts

Here are the most common years couples break up, according to experts
PHOTO: StefaNikolic Getty Images

Generally, every new love story that is born is designed to last forever. Whether it's a simple relationship, an engagement, cohabitation or marriage, both partners want the romance to last, if not a lifetime. But a relationship and marriage counselor known as Kim Polinder says there is a common time or period when partners must have absolute attention to every detail, as separation could be at the door.

According to Kim, one of these periods is usually between 3, 7, 11 or 15 years.

She says that when a marriage or long-term relationship ends within the 3-year mark, couples “generally haven't learned how to resolve conflicts. "Conflicts from past relationships come to the surface as soon as the honeymoon phase passes," she says.  

The relationship tends to be more on hiatus after seven years, according to Kim. This is after the partners start to question their life choices to see if they are going in the same directions, have common goals or not and many other details.

By the eleventh or twelfth year, couples know if they have made enough effort to move past the "hanging out" phase to strengthen their relationship. Whereas, when a couple enters the fifteenth year of their relationship and there are still unresolved disputes, then the partners must realize that they have forgotten that they were once close friends or colleagues to each other who reached the relationship they have today.

At this point in their relationship, they would rather live as "roommates". The marriage counselor says that couples in a long-term relationship, if they still haven't found the "wires" in their relationship, they probably didn't know how to make the right moves.

Four signs that indicate whether or not you will break up:

-Toxic Criticism:  When a couple is extremely critical and often blames each other for things they "always" do or "never" say, then this is a red flag for a potential breakup over time.

-Contempt : This is expressed by sighing, rolling eyes, mocking each other, etc.

-Defense: When the couple justifies their respective actions without taking responsibility, this is a bad signal for the relationship between the two.

-Closing in oneself: A toxic practice where one of the partners chooses silence and no reaction or conversation with the partner, i.e. a total disregard that can lead to separation.  

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