Apologizing is not easy. Whether you're not used to it, don't know how to phrase it, or have difficulty accepting responsibility, the fact that you were wrong is not the most pleasant feeling. Furthermore, if the idea of ??admitting your mistakes in front of others scares you, this makes forgiveness even more difficult.
But here's the truth: apologizing is a skill that helps relationships grow healthier. Over time, you'll learn that it's okay to make mistakes and admit it. In fact, a sincere apology can create even stronger bonds with the people who matter to you. And that sounds like a good thing, right?
Furthermore, there's no need to apologize perfectly. What's important is to show that you're ready to take responsibility and repair the relationship. If you're not sure where to start, here are some tips that can help:
Think about the purpose of forgiveness.
If your goal is simply to close this chapter as quickly as possible, you're doing it wrong. Forgiveness should come as a sincere admission of wrongdoing and an indication that you care about the person you hurt.
Calm down before you speak.
If the idea of ??apologizing makes you feel stressed, that's normal. That doesn't mean you should avoid it, but taking a few seconds to calm down isn't a bad idea. If you feel your heart racing or your palms getting sweaty, try to focus and take a deep breath. You can tell yourself, "Even though this feels awkward, it will feel good that I'm doing the right thing."
Don't make excuses.
If you want to apologize with all your heart, give up the excuses. An apology that starts with “I’m sorry, but…” is not a true apology.
If you add phrases like “But you knew this would upset me” or “But I’ve been really stressed out lately” after your apology, you’re not really taking responsibility for what you did. An apology should be pure and unconditional.
Give space to the other person's feelings
After you've apologized and thought about how to fix the situation, it's time to listen to the other person. This is one of the most important parts of a sincere apology.
You can start with questions like, “What do you think about this?” or “Is there anything else you’d like to share?” and then listen without interrupting or getting defensive. It’s not always easy, but showing that you can accept criticism when you’re wrong can make your relationship stronger over time.
Ultimately, apologizing is not just about saying "I'm sorry," but about showing that you've reflected and are ready to do better.
