It is known that some couples are eternally faithful to their partners and so far there is nothing surprising. At the altar, at least, partners have been known to swear eternal fidelity and love until death do them part. But nowadays such vows seem like they came out of either books with happy endings or the most romantic movies possible.
Some couples choose polyamory, an opposite form of monogamy that involves being in more than one relationship. But "tolyamory" is a much more common, but less discussed, relationship style.
As explained by American author and media expert Dan Savage, being "tolyamorous" means that a person is "willing to turn a blind eye to a partner's brief affair after many years of marriage". process, these people focus on their spouse and all the commitment and love they show, considering this episode of betrayal as tolerable.
"These people are not stupid or easily fooled. They know they can be betrayed by their partners and have made peace with that idea,” says Savage. "They're willing to put up with it and tolerate it because they're just in love."
"It's a way to maintain the relationship, but not to 'endorse' non-monogamous behavior," Marie Thouin, a well-known relationship coach, told HuffPost.
Many couples probably think that monogamy is realistic or possible, accepting that infidelity is just a possibility and the partner who is committing it maintains the innocence that such a thing is not actually happening.
"Furthermore, societies where gender equality is less advanced tend to have double standards when it comes to these expectations, especially of women to tolerate their husbands' infidelity while remaining monogamous," Thouin said.
If one of the partners is financially dependent on the other, who is involved in parallel relationships, this may make them more inclined to tolerate deviant behavior.
"People depend on each other for mutual care, financial security and emotional security," Thouin continued. "And even when the dynamics are on the healthy side, leaving the relationship is often very costly, materially as well as personally."
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