Going through a terrible breakup and feeling depressed, anxious, crying uncontrollably and suddenly feeling excited? You may often find yourself wondering if this is normal, and thankfully, science has an answer:
The short answer: Yes, of course it is.
The long answer: According to Lee Phillips, a certified couples and relationship therapist, this feeling can catch you a little off guard, and you might not feel good because you're going through a rough time. But, the intense emotions that you feel, in fact, also raise the level of lust, which is very common.
Also, it may be because you are seeking pleasure through sexual contact, to forget or deal with the sadness and anxiety that has gripped you. So, you don't have to worry, as nothing bad is happening, it's just related to the different ways we react due to the difficult situations our mind, heart and body go through.
"People's reactions after separation can be different. Some people may feel a decrease in the level of sexual desire, while others have a greater desire than usual to have sex", says Nazanin Moali, host of the Sexology podcast.
Another reason we may feel excited and want to have sex after a breakup is because we may be dealing with decreased self-confidence and increased emotional distress, according to Jordan Dixon, relationship therapist.
On the other hand, it is because sex has a positive effect and engaging in sexual activities can be a faster and more powerful way to change your emotional and spiritual state, so it is no wonder that many people are attracted to this option, as face strong feelings such as: anger, stress and sadness.
Sex after a breakup can be a good distraction to momentarily "save" from the sadness and anxiety you are experiencing. Plus, it can help you regain a sense of control, since separation also brings about an imbalance of various hormones, including dopamine, which is associated with pleasure.
The desire to have sex after such a stressful event may come as a reaction to the stress and anxiety you feel at the moment. When anger and negative feelings take over the mind, a good way to get rid of them is precisely orgasm, which releases tension and restores calm, as well as giving a high dose of dopamine. So, you need to have an orgasm after the breakup, so that the brain balances again.
How do you manage without getting back with your ex?
Identify sensations
Listen to your body and notice what you are experiencing. Just take a deep breath, look at things from a different perspective, and then act.
Take it slow
Are you 100% sure you want to have sex again after a painful breakup? Allow yourself to experience all the emotions, anger, rage, outbursts and pain, and then slowly take the appropriate steps. Basically, there is no set time limit, so when you feel it, you will know that you are ready to return to sexual experiences again.
Have 1 or several orgasms yourself
Masturbation and sex toys are always ready to help you, especially after a breakup.
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