The moment when Will Smith got up and slapped comedian Chris Rock - after the latter joked about the shaved hair of Smith's wife, Jada - will long be remembered in the history of the Oscars.
The Internet seems to be split in two: Some condemn the actor's violence as the "ugliest moment" in Oscar history, while others criticize Chris Rock for making fun of Jada's illness, which has shown to have alopecia that causes hair loss. However, among these #TeamWill and #TeamChris, people are forgetting the person who is at the center of the drama: Jada. Was her husband's response helpful and protective or did it just make things worse?
When you are in a relationship, what should you do if your partner is offended, ridiculed or abused? "I think it 's reasonable to expect your partner to support you during difficult times," Naomi Segal, couple couples psychologist and founder of The Couple Consultancy, told the Mirror. Naomi stressed that support will be different for each couple and will depend on the circumstances of the situation.
"Seeing your partner verbally or physically assaulted is likely to create a very strong emotional reaction in you as well, so in that sense, it's something that is happening to both of you in different ways, not just the person who is subject to attack, ”she explained.
If problems are not an immediate physical danger, Naomi says it may be helpful to first check how you both feel about the situation and see what support he / she needs. "Anger and violence are different things. Anger is an emotional reaction, violence is a physical reaction. Feeling angry about an injustice can be a normal emotional response in some situations. "Violence can be a show of anger, it depends on the individual."
Liam Barnett, relationship coach, emphasizes that you need to allow your partner to be able to face himself / herself in his / her own way. "Immediate reaction can make them feel inferior and weak to the person who is insulting them," Liam told the Mirror. "If you notice they need help, then you can intervene by setting some boundaries."
In the situation of Jada and Will, it is thought that Will's intention was to rise up in defense of the woman and condemn the lack of respect caused by Chris's comment. However some people wonder if it would not have been better to resolve the issue privately or after the ceremony.
"It depends," says Naomi. "Making a public statement can be a useful way to educate people about something that has been misunderstood or misinterpreted. However, in order to be effective, it requires the right way to argue why everything that happened was hurtful, which violence does not really allow. "
